It’s been a while since I last wrote.  Please forgive me--2009 came in like a whirlwind and hasn’t slowed down yet. 

The good news is my freshman is only about six weeks away from being a college sophomore!  It’s a challenge just to try to think back on all that has happened with her since that big day in August when my husband, my son and I made that long solemn trip back to Austin from Conway.  Grace made it through her first semester of finals without too much drama.  I didn’t ask a lot of probing questions.  I just sat back and observed.  It was a good experience for her and, as with most of her new college experiences, she learned something from it.

The holidays came and, since she had to be back at school early for training, we only had a few days here at home with her before she headed back to school on the 28th of December.

Luckily, she has met some very good friends and some generous and supportive parents who took her into their home and treated her like one of there own, (thank you Beth and Brian) so her holidays were still full of good friends and family--it was just further north than usual.

Grace is a swimmer so the team was at the peak of their training season the beginning of the year, getting ready for their conference meet in Nashville (the second weekend in February).  Some local parents of swimmers made sure the kids got some good meals and went out of their way to make sure the kids were taken care of on campus (since they don’t have the usual cafeteria services).  From this parent, “Thank you for your efforts.”

Classes started up for the second semester and with the conference meet just ahead of her, Grace took off full steam into the second half of her freshman year of college.  I am amazed at how much she has matured since coming to Hendrix.  Her ability to problem solve and work through challenging situations has blossomed.  And she hasn’t faced this on her own; she has been supported by her friends, teachers and coaches and has figured out how to go out and find help and assistance for things from grades to illness.

SCAC was a big payoff for Grace’s hard work this year.  She did very well at the swim meet, as did her teammates and the team as a whole. She felt very good about the results of her efforts, both personally and as a member of the team, and I can’t say enough good things about the coaches who supported and nurtured these kids through a great season.

Now that spring break is over, (I did not get to see my child--she had other fun things to do), Grace is looking at the end of her first year of college.  She’s talking about what she wants to do for the summer--work, internships, etc.  And she’s talking about financial aid and class choices for next year and her Odyssey project.  I just stand here in amazement that I sent my little girl off to Hendrix seven months ago, and now she’s all grown up.

And the bonus to all of this…. it’s not just about the academics, it’s not just about the swimming, it’s not just about her being away from home on her own, being a college student and having fun.  It’s about being in an environment that supports and nurtures her so she can develop the skills she needs to be a happy, healthy, productive individual who understands how to work hard to reach a goal and how important it is to give back.

Hendrix is a place that develops the whole student, and they told us that when we brought her here last August.  But now I’ve seen it for myself, and it’s true.

I was invited by one of our friends in the Hendrix administration to participate in the Community Blog, and I’m happy to take part.  

By way of introductions, our daughter Lauren is in her 3rd year at Hendrix.  My wife, Donna, and I are empty nesters and live in St. Louis, and have a married son who lives in Seattle who is an engineer for Microsoft, and a daughter who lives in St. Louis and works as an elementary and junior high music teacher at our home school district.  We’re lucky in many ways, one of which is that we’re three for three, in terms of our children’s college choices working out well.  In many respects, Hendrix has been the best.

Lauren is half way through spending the entire year in England, with the first semester in London, and the second in Oxford.  In as much as study abroad is a part of the Hendrix experience for so many, I’ve decided to focus this submission on the England experience.

A year ago at this time, Lauren was highly focused on spending the year in England.  For Lauren, “highly focused” takes on more bandwidth than for most people.  This has historically served her well, as it’s contributed to her being a good student, a good competitive swimmer, and generally successful at what she’s taken on.  In the case of her interest in going to England, let’s just say that she left no stone unturned.  A disappointing grade on a paper became framed in whether it would result in her getting accepted in England.  Her lifeguarding work schedule over vacation was based on how much money she’d need to contribute to the cause.  It took a little longer that expected to determine who was accepted.  Thank heaven she was accepted.  Life was good.

With the admission issue resolved, off we went into the executional phase.  Even with Hendrix doing everything that one could reasonably expect to get everyone ready, those contemplating studying abroad shouldn’t expect that it all goes on autopilot.  Researching a visa, applying for it, then finally learning that it wasn’t needed (the 6 weeks home between semesters made it two separate trips and gave us a technical exemption) was a real pain.  School finances became exponentially more complicated, especially with one semester at a satellite Hendrix institution (Hendrix London) and one temporary transfer (Oxford).  Lots of things needed to be coordinated, down to assuring that the Oxford courses would be accepted at Hendrix.  Things we take for granted in Conway, like getting from the airport to the campus, required extensive planning in London.  In that case, it impacted how much Lauren could pack, because she had to carry all her belongings on the London “tube” to get where she needed to go.  A lapse in getting an absentee ballot wasn’t an option.

All this was okay, actually more than okay, because Donna and I had a side agenda with Lauren’s year abroad.  As the youngest of our children, we seemed to dote a lot on Lauren, and as a result, we thought her becoming more independent would be a good thing.  We’ve been awed by the transformation that’s taken place in this respect.  There’s nothing like the Atlantic Ocean to make someone feel like they’re separated from their family, and need to do things on their own.

Virtually everything we hear from “across the pond” has been positive.  Nice room mate (whew!), and great people in the program.  Lauren has made side-trips to Ireland, Paris, Florence, and Barcelona.  Surprisingly, these trips were fairly economical, although I have to confess, when Lauren and I were going over her spending to date, she wasn’t clear which expenditures were in dollars and what were in pounds.  Lauren took up water polo, and joined the University of London’s team (the “B” squad, but a team’s a team).  She claims she’s mastered the tube.  Cheap seats at the London theaters.  The pictures, e-mailed with regularity, are all smiles.  And why not?  New friends, new places, new experiences, and new confidence.  The latter is priceless.

The Bresler family gives the Hendrix study abroad a solid thumbs-up.  It’s one of many reasons that we feel very fortunate to be part of the Hendrix experience.

When we delivered our son to Hendrix for his first semester as a freshman last year, the temperature was a blistering 110 degrees.  By comparison, coming back to school was a pleasure.  The move-in for JD’s second year at Hendrix was uneventful.

Family Weekend should never be missed.  Last year we made new friends. This year we renewed our friendships and began new ones.

Lacrosse is different this year. Establishing any inaugural program is difficult. Last year Hendrix fielded about eighteen players through most of the season. That’s particularly difficult in a game where the players run all the time. The schedule was demanding by design. Iron sharpens iron.  Our team didn’t win much last year, but they gained the respect of some top established teams and gained confidence in themselves.

This year we have nearly forty boys playing lacrosse.  Watching the team after only six practice sessions, the difference was dramatic!  This is going to be a much different year.

While work got in the way of attending Fall Ball, we were there in spirit.  We heard the scores right away and knew our team was winning. Great feeling to win!

Family Weekend was different for us this year. We enjoyed the activities on campus, but took the opportunity to canoe on the Buffalo National River. What a great day. Perfect weather, beautiful water and scenery. Real quality time with our family and friends.

After returning the kids to campus, we drove to Eureka Springs for fishing and fun.  Yes, we had fun. Yes, we caught fish!  Click HERE to see what we caught!

Within a day the phone calls started coming.

“Hi, Mom, I’m going to the library.”
“Doing my laundry now!”

“Okay, great.  You never call to tell me things like that. What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. Where are you? Catching anything?”

Being used to rushed conversations between classes or other activities, this was out of character.

Then we realized the role reversal. WE were the ones having fun while they were working at school.  If this is role reversal, we can deal with it. What fun!

My Grandmother used to always tell me that as you get older, time goes by faster and faster.  I would listen politely and thought I was hearing the repetitive chatter of a sweet old lady.  Little did I know, what she was actually doing was trying to prepare me for the day when time started picking up its tempo.

As I look back at my last blog, from mid-September, I realize that she was right. Time is moving faster!  Since my last post we have been back up to Hendrix twice to see Grace.  We attended Family Weekend the end of September, and we visited the last weekend in October for the 41st Hendrix Diving & Swimming Classic and the 46th Hendrix Diving and Swimming Relays.

It’s hard to believe that the kids have been in school for just over three months already, and they are looking ahead at their first finals. The “Honeymoon” seems to be over, and the real work has begun.

Let’s go back. First, to Family Weekend...it was so exciting to get to see our daughter for the first time since she had left for school.  The campus was alive with activities and smiling parents and students.  The kids still seemed to be feeling the euphoria of leaving home for the first time and coming to college to be on their own.  They even seemed to like to flaunt the fact that they could make their own decisions about things, like making their beds (or not), cleaning their rooms and wearing slippers outside. They were on their own!

We tried to take in as many activities and events as we could and still spend some time with Grace.  One thing I did not do in advance, and soon realized was a mistake, was finding out who my daughter’s professors were and what classes (exactly) she was taking so we could sit in on a class and get an idea of what she is up against.  We did sit in on an English literature class, that we picked at random, and it was fun to see the kids interact with the professor.  Being a science major, I was a little out of my element, but Fred knew the works they were discussing in class.  I did realize, as I sat there trying to figure out what it was all about, that the students at Hendrix are a very smart, articulate and enlightened group.  And the professor was well versed in getting the kids engaged and exploring their thoughts. It made me excited that Grace was a part of this college community.

There were many, many fun things we did and saw during this visit, including going to a reception at President Cloyd’s house and attending the worship service in Greene Chapel, but one thing I have to point out was something most people wouldn’t have been so excited about.  The cafeteria.  It was the greatest!  We took most of our meals away from campus, as a special treat for Grace, and when we walked into the cafeteria for our first meal, which was delicious, I was taken back by the beautiful fall decorations.  There were decorations hanging from the ceiling, in every corner, on every counter top and above every serving area. I had to stop and grab my camera.  You see I have decorated our home for the holidays since the kids were little, and I was feeling bad that Grace would miss this little tradition.  But the cafeteria ladies came through. Besides providing my daughter with delicious healthy meals, they kept up “our” tradition and decorated for the holidays.

As our first visit came to an end, I realized that I felt differently than I did when we left Grace the first time.  I was content in knowing that she had picked a great school that she felt comfortable and a part of, and she had a good support system of friends and teammates.  So, as we said our good-byes, I was surprised that our daughter’s eyes welled up with tears.  Luckily she had a friend with her so I knew she wouldn’t be alone when we left. As we drove off, I knew she’d be OK and that in a few minutes she’d be back to her life.  College life.

Our next visit was a family affair.  Fred and I took Walker out of school for a day, and we all went up to watch Grace swim that weekend. He could hardly wait to see his big sister again.  As soon as we got to campus, I realized that, as fall had ushered itself in, things had changed.  The kids had settled into a steady cadence, the manic euphoria had gone, and everyone seemed to be more relaxed and mature somehow.

It was Halloween day and there was a buzz around campus about the dance that night but also the realization lingered that a terrible event had occurred on the UCA campus just a few nights before.

We all enjoyed this visit thoroughly with the leaves in every color you can imagine and the cool fall weather, and I came to realize that our daughter did know that she had come to college to study. She has come up against some challenges and has figured out how to manage them for herself. She has found her way and is marching up the path she has chosen. It was hard for me to comprehend that all of this could have happened so quickly. Then I remembered...like my grandmother said, time is going faster.

I hope everyone has a joyous and safe Holiday Season!

…..it is now officially fall.  This is one of my favorite times of the year.  The weather cools (here in Texas it gets all the way down to the 90’s) and the leaves change and the squirrels get really busy and football is back! Yay!

But this year fall is going to be a little different for us here in the Cumpian household. It has now been over thirty days since we left Gracie at college to find her own way and things seem to be going well for her. She seems to have settled in well and stays very busy with classes, swim practice and friends.

To us fall has always been a time of year when the family huddles around the TV to watch football and eat snacks together. This year we’ll be down one screaming, foam- finger-waving, queso-eating, burnt-orange-wearing fan.

Here at home it seems that we have finally figured out what our positions in the family are now that there are just the three of us, and the two dogs.  Fred and Walker usually stick together and override me on what TV shows to watch and on pizza toppings and the dogs have to work a little bit harder for attention now that there is one less pair of hands around to pet them. 

The low grade anxiety that seemed to be constantly present after we drove away from Hendrix in mid-August has faded away and we have relaxed back into a routine that is surprisingly comfortable.  I think that Grace can also feel the difference in us and is more relaxed and open when we talk.  She even calls me sometimes while she’s walking between classes just to chat for a moment or sends me a text just to check in on me.

Last week I finally got up the nerve to ask her the big question.  She was telling me all about her classes and swim practice and was feeling very good about everything so I went ahead and asked her. “So, do you think you made the right choice about college?”  Without hesitation she said yes, then went on to tell me how she and her roommate had just had a conversation about this same subject the night before. They discussed how they both had a lot of second thoughts over the summer and were nervous when they got to campus to move in but now they feel so lucky to be at Hendrix and to be roommates.  They feel like they were meant to be there.
 
So, as fall begins we look ahead with anticipation about what the rest of the school year will bring for us.  Next weekend is Family Weekend at Hendrix and Fred and I will be there for it.  I’m looking forward to meeting Grace’s new friends and seeing her interact in her college environment. She has talked about so many different people and I’d like to put some faces with the names. 

I’m hoping to sit in on some classes to see how things have changed since my college experience, back in the olden days.  And we will get to see her compete in her first athletic competition of the year, an inter-squad swim meet in the new natatorium.

I’m also looking forward to seeing the change in the beautiful Hendrix campus as fall tiptoes in.

As I said earlier, fall has always been a favorite time of the year for me, a time to look ahead in anticipation and a time to look back and be thankful for the bounty that has come my way. And this year I have much to reflect on and be thankful for.

 Happy Fall!